PERFECT OF COURSE!

Customer Service is all the rage and what better way to assess how good you’re doing than to ask your customers. It seems I’m asked to take “how are we doing” surveys all the time. One of the most amazing things I’ve ever encountered is when they actually told me how to grade them. “Our rating scale goes from 1-5 with 5 being the highest score. Please give us all 5′s because we’re in a competition and we’ll lose out if scored lower or, our boss would not be pleased with less.”

So what’s that about Customer Service?
I admit this scenario doesn’t occur as often as it used to and when it does it always seems to be a car dealership (really). But it makes me wonder- what do businesses really think about customer service and more importantly, what are they doing with all this feedback?

It makes people feel good when you ask for their input but unless they see action it amounts to nothing more than lip service; and you can bet they’ll notice! How does your company view customer service? Is it ingrained in the culture and sincere or is it deemed a necessity without a heart? Are you genuinely interested in your customer’s opinions? When you ask for a customer’s opinion are you prepared to take action?

Customer service is best appreciated from the perspective of the customer. Here’s a few things to think about:

• My opinion counts but don’t smother me- asking for my opinion is great but enticing me with gift cards and such anticipating my needs and
• Be realistic- I know there are things you just can’t do. Don’t try to impress me with showy and unrealistic displays. They say if it seems too good to be true it probably is. Be real is all I ask.
• Don’t tell me how to think- if you really want my opinion let me give it. Don’t tell me how to respond. When you do it becomes very clear I really don’t matter.
• If you’re really listening, let me know- when you ask my opinion I figure that you have an interest in what I say. I realize that you can’t act upon every request but if you want my opinion then at least be open to making changes for the better.
• Be genuine- I’m your customer and I’m very important to your business. Treat me with value, respect and integrity. In return I pledge you my loyalty. It’s not always about the cost of things. While they say you get what you pay for- I’m also willing to pay for who you are.

The next time you ask your customers for their opinion, ask yourself this: Do I want to hear what they have to say? Am I genuinely prepared to do something with the feedback I receive? If the answer to both of these questions is yes, I imagine you’re enjoying a loyal customer base and all the rewards that go with it. If you answered no to either question (be honest), you might want to do some targeted analysis. After all, the customer is King and we are merely attendants in his Court.

Remember me? We met at that networking event three weeks ago. We had a great conversation, exchanged cards and agreed heartily that we need to follow-up. I even sent you the follow-up information you requested. Three voice messages and three emails later I’m beginning to think I had you all wrong. What gives? Am I invisible?

Most of my colleagues’ say it’s happened to them as well; how about you? I know I shouldn’t take it personally but I have to ask: Is it something I said or didn’t say? Something I did or didn’t do? I’m always eager to learn how to improve upon what I’m doing so when I meet an enthusiastic person and they suddenly turn silent I become very curious.

Have you ever done this to someone else? Go ahead and tell me; I won’t be mad, I’m just confused. I invest a lot of time in building relationships. My business depends on it, so any guidance you can provide will be greatly appreciated. (I am serious, if you have insight to share please e-mail me at ed@4eandd.com).

We live in the era of the enlightened business person. Business folks know that technical skills are merely the tip of the iceberg. People skills are invaluable and building relationships is now as much a part of good business as managing cash flow. So why do some of us choose to send signals that push prospective business away? OK, maybe I am getting off track here; what really matters is that if you choose to network, if you believe that building and maintaining relationships is important to building your business- ACT THAT WAY!

Business networking is a fact of life. The reality is that some of us are not comfortable with it. There are no hard and fast rules; the best guideline I can think of is to recognize your comfort level and capabilities and then, to be yourself. I imagine that most of the enthusiasts I meet (those that suddenly go away) are afraid to say “no thanks”. There is no obligation to like everyone we meet; not everyone is a fitting prospect for us. That’s the way it should be- we have a choice.

So, what will make me happy? Here’s my short list:

• When you meet me give me a chance to tell you who I am.
• Take the time to tell me about yourself and what you are looking for.
• Be forthright with me; if I suggest we follow-up tell me you are or are not interested. Don’t lead me on; my time is valuable too.

And a couple of things for you to keep in mind:

• Networking is an opportunity to promote yourself and to help others; it’s not what you ask for, it’s what you have to give.
• Building and maintaining relationships isn’t only good for business, it is business!
• Everyone you meet is a potential benefactor- you for them and they for you; treat everyone as if each of you would be forever benefited by having met.

I’m not invisible; the next time you say you’ll call, please do it. I can assure you, I will be waiting.

Recently I read about a newly retired New Yorker who purchased a modest farm in Portugal. The property had been on the market for some time; the owners, heirless and long-deceased. Nobody had much interest in buying the property or in peering inside the barn with the welded-shut, steel doors.

Our New Yorker bought the farm (and lived to tell) and proceeded to crack his way into the mysterious barn. Much to his surprise there were scores of vintage autos within; total value in excess of $35 million. Man, what a great way to retire! A most excellent story!

Ah but then reality sets in…

The farm, the barn and its welded-shut steel doors does exist; the original owner is also very much alive. The contents of the barn- yup, over $35 million in vintage autos that the owner, a former auto dealer had collected over time. The pictures were taken in an effort to document the collection; the story- a modern invention, an urban legend.

Well, perhaps it was a bit far-fetched, but for a brief feel-good moment I chose to believe and it was worth it to me. For a moment I was transported away from a world where terror, catastrophe and politics are more prevalent than high-fives and hugs. It’s not that I advocate ‘escaping reality’ but I believe that a healthy imagination goes a long way.

The potential of a child is limited to large extent by the depth of their imagination. An umbrella becomes a parachute, an empty room is magically filled with real friends and a towel becomes a Superman cape, capable of imparting truly amazing powers. Through the eyes of a child anything is possible and better still, a child is neither embarrassed by nor fearful of the possibility. Think about it! Imagination opens us to possibility; possibility paves the way for potential and potential is the gateway to reality. That sounds like an incredible recipe for success, doesn’t it?

It seems to me that many adults take the imagination for granted and give it less credit than it deserves; I suppose it just doesn’t fit their idea of being a grown-up. Regardless of the camp you’re in, consider this. Think of those times when you’re struggling to devise a plan, generate novel ideas or write that proposal; the ideas might be lurking but they just don’t come out the right way. What do you suppose might happen if at times like these you started listening to your inner child? How would it feel to open yourself to possibility, even that which at first blush seems farfetched or dare I say, childish? What is the risk? Assuming that you’ll properly vet the outcome anyway, I don’t really believe there is any risk. On the other hand the potential is considerable. By letting go of the stuffy adultitude (that is, adult attitude) you might just find that your creativity reaches new heights.

Listen, I’m not suggesting we all start dressing up like Superman and jumping from chairs. Good old common sense matters, but maybe it’s time we paid attention to our inner-child.

Just imagine the possibilities!

Last year I switched from a local lawn care service to one of those major chains. The decision was based solely on cost. A year later I’m back with the original provider and you might be surprised to learn why I switched back.

It started with the up-selling; he actually got me to purchase a shrub treatment program that effectively doubled my cost. I understand why a company resorts to up-selling but this guy brought it to a whole new level. First of all the same offers were repeated over and over, despite my requests to stop. Worse still, he would emphatically point out that these extras were not only aesthetically appealing but that they were “necessary to retain the value and beauty of my property.” Let’s call it the ‘hard-sell up-sell’. But when I decided to take my business elsewhere that’s when things got real ugly.

When I called to cancel I told him that the service was adequate but I didn’t appreciate the heavy-handed up-selling that continued despite my protestations. The response- he offered me a still lower price. Not long after, I started receiving calls asking if I wanted to use their service again, sometimes chiding my decision to go elsewhere. Each time I told him I was not interested and don’t call again (what can I say I’m a nice guy). The calls continued, sometimes occurring after 9 PM and as it turns out they (and all the earlier calls as well) were from the same salesman. Most of the time I didn’t even pick up the phone and on those occasions, no message was left. At last I spoke to the Customer Service Manager and told her that I felt I was being harassed. When I told her who the salesman was, she shocked me by saying “we’ve had issues with him before and we’ll take care of it.” They did take care of it; he never called again, but why did it ever get like this?

Your company’s sales performance (comprised of personnel and practices) is often the only factor that determines whether or not customers will buy from you now or in the future. The ripple effect of my experience (or anyone like me) can be dramatic; it’s likely I’ll never do business with this company again and I’ll surely let others know about my experience. With so much on the line could your company afford to have a public face like this fellow? Is there any chance you have someone like this?

It’s critical that companies take firm control over the sales performance process. Individuals who are hired in to this essential role should be carefully screened to ensure that they have the right stuff. First and foremost salespeople should be ‘people persons’. We can’t train people to be passionate about serving our customers, but those who are passionate are the ones we should be looking for. We can instill the passion for the product or service we’re selling but it’s of little value if our sales people are not fundamentally passionate about people, our customers.

This company made a major blunder; they were aware of difficulties with this employee and yet they allowed him to continue without sufficient oversight. Hiring the right sales people is only the beginning; we need to provide sufficient guidance and support to ensure that they remain successful and we must always be vigilant for rogue persons or activities that could undermine our integrity. When we uncover these situations we must be prepared to take appropriate measures to correct the matter promptly; ideally our customers won’t be the first to bring these matters to our attention.

A final word about sales practices; up-selling is but one of a plethora of tools that is employed to up the return per customer. But too much of anything can be a bad thing and when your customer hollers ‘uncle’ it’s time to let it go. Choose your offerings carefully and always keep in mind how you would feel if someone was selling to you as you are selling to them. There’s a lot to be said for that old Golden Rule- “Treat others as you want to be treated”. How does your team measure up?

On our recent anniversary trip to Grand Bahama Island my wife and I were thrilled to meet some of the warmest people we have met in our travels. Most of the people we met were happy we were there and made a point of enriching our visit.

During our stay we dined at a great restaurant on the marina (hint: La Dolce Vita at the Port Lucaya Marketplace). The food was spot-on and the surroundings and ambiance were spot-on as well, but it was our server who made it an unforgettable experience.

I was immediately struck by our servers’ enthusiasm; let’s just say it was contagious! This fellow was so incredibly full of joy I simply had to ask him- why? He explained that he’s always been a very happy person (I suppose that might come more easily when you live in paradise). More importantly he told us that he’s very passionate about everything he does. His passion, coupled with his willingness to express it made him an exceptionally engaging and vibrant person. Bottom line, while La Dolce Vita is a superb restaurant I’m sure there are many finer restaurants on the island; but in my eyes they’d be hard-pressed to have made such a memorable impression.

Passion drives many of us to do what we do; to make the choices we make. It also helps us sustain the effort needed to be successful. Of his own admission our server is passionate about everything he does. His passion not only sustains his enthusiasm and joy, it has a positive impact on the restaurant in which he works. How? Through his enthusiasm and joy our dining experience was both unforgettable and vivid. This translates to our willingness to tell others about our experience (witness this newsletter). If you happened to hear of our experience and do go to the island I’d say there’s a far greater chance you’ll check out this restaurant. If you do go there, at the very least you’ll likely enjoy a great meal in a beautiful setting; and if you’re real lucky you’ll be seated in Mer…’s section.

In the eyes of the consumer a business is attractive if their offerings are necessary or desirable and are offered at a fair (read: competitive) price. What you don’t see here is the word passion. That’s because passion is ‘the icing on the cake.’ You can attract people to a business that offers all that they need/want at a fair price but the real question is can you keep them coming back?

Ah, herein lies the differentiator; I am of the belief that those businesses that are passionate about what they do (and who they are) are better equipped to retain their customers. So, what is your stance? Are you passionate about your business? How about your’ employees? Are your customers eager to come back for more or are you constantly searching for replacements?

LESSONS I’VE LEARNED FROM A TURKEY.

Imagine, you’re in the middle of a senior executive presentation; there’s a decisive tension in the air. Amidst discussion about production targets and external threats, there comes a loud tapping at the full length windows behind you. The tapping stops, discussion continues but then at a particularly sensitive moment, the tapping resumes with a vengeance; and it doesn’t stop either!

The suspense is killing you, so with apologies to your audience you excuse yourself and retract the curtains. The sight is more than your audience can bear; the laughter in the second floor boardroom grows to a crescendo as tears roll down the faces of the attendees.

There, standing nearly four feet tall, with a barrel chest and blazing colors stands an exceptionally narcissistic male turkey. The windows are glazed so he can’t see you but you know for sure he sees himself. When the laughter dies down (and thankfully the tapping as well), the mood in the room is decidedly more cordial. It’s almost as if someone opened a pressure-relief valve. In fact, in a way that’s just what happened.

This is a true story; it could not have been scripted if we wanted to. But it does underscore the profound impact that laughter can provide wherever we are; yes, even in the workplace!

Did you know that laughter…

• Reduces stress? Laughter has been shown to reduce levels of the stress hormones cortisol, epinephrine and dopamine, while at the same time increase levels of ‘feel good’ endorphins.
• Enhances the immune system? The number of antibody producing cells is increased as a result of laughing and the effectiveness of T-cells (natural killer cells that destroy viruses and cancer cells) is enhanced.
• Improves creativity and productivity? Studies have shown that laughter expands our vision and opens us up to new ideas and potential.
• Improves communication and rapport? Hey, just take a look at the boardroom example above.
• Feels real good? Yeah, that’s a no brainer but I had to throw it in.

With all these benefits I’ve got to wonder why I don’t see more laughter in the work-places I visit. I’ve heard a lot of excuses- if we’re laughing how can we expect anyone to take us seriously? Lightness and laughter are not consistent with the serious nature of running a business; the list goes on. Sound familiar? For many of you it probably does. Is there something you can do about it? You bet there is!

Lead by example; let your staff know that laughter in the workplace is OK.

Our society has a history of equating work with seriousness and many managers and executives make a point of perpetuating the notion. Unless you’re adamant that laughter is not permitted in your work-place (and if you are, I’d like to chat with you) make a point of letting people know that it’s OK to be light. After all, you already know the benefits.

The only thing more contagious than the common cold is laughter. If it feels good let it show. The example you set leads the way for others to be more spontaneous and genuine in their day to day actions. Let your staff know that it’s OK to enjoy themselves while they are working. If everyone adopts a similar position it won’t take long for the effort to have a major and quite positive impact.

Incorporate laughter into meetings.

It’s too bad we don’t all have turkeys flying around our offices; the unexpected laugh may be the most fun. But even setting the mood (let’s call it the inspired laugh) can be beneficial. Why not set aside a few moments in your next meeting for a bit of joke telling, a funny story or something else to lighten the mood? I know, it sounds totally weird; but why is that? Because you never did it before?

Why not try to loosen it up a bit? Imagine what you have to gain; let’s see, your colleagues are experiencing reduced stress, feeling more creative and productive and have improved communication and rapport. Oh did I mention they’re feeling good as well? Wow, this sounds like my kind of meeting! What are you waiting for?

Above all, keep it real!

One final tidbit I’d like you to consider- laughter is a valuable work-place addition but it’s a serious matter too. That is, laughter is great when it’s genuine but meaningless when it’s staged. I’m not referring to unexpected versus inspired laughter but heart-felt versus contrived. Real laughter comes from deep inside; watching others laugh might lighten our grip on the restraints but genuine laughter is a spontaneous response- we permit something to move us to giddiness. Permit yourself to be moved and you will move others.

The benefits of laughter in the workplace are real. Let your laughter be felt and heard!

NOW HURRY UP AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE AROUND.

Tis’ the season to 1) be overwhelmed by all the things we think we should be doing, 2) to mull over all the things we did (or did not) accomplish in the previous year and 3) to plan ahead and develop the measuring stick that will propel us to start the process anew when next December arrives. I have come to view this as the aah and ugh season.

The aah’s and ugh’s of course are the hits and misses I accumulated throughout the past year. For some reason the end of the year is a time, no it is the time, to take stock of what we have done; to review the lessons learned and to develop our plan for the next year. Whether business or personal, the opportunity to move forward, beyond our past or current accomplishment is a compelling force. The thing is it becomes more like a wave of tidal proportion at this time of year. Does it have to be this way?

The spirit of a fresh start is a deeply ingrained component of the New Year and I’m confident that it will be around for a very long time. At the same time I think this annual event can be a bit misleading not to mention very stressful for some of us. I’d like to share a few thoughts that might take some of the New Years’ resolution pressure off.

New Years’ resolutions; in conversation they’re sort of like “how are you’s”- everyone is asking about them.

One of the funky things about New Years’ resolutions is that they’re sort of obligatory. How many times have you been asked- so what are your New Years resolutions? Suddenly the New Years goal setting is feeling more and more like a performance review- whew!

I have enough choices to make and obligations to fulfill. This New Years’ resolution thing, tradition aside, is a personal choice. The next time someone asks me if I made a resolution I think I’ll tell them I have- it is that I will not discuss the subject.

If it feels good for you then make one (or several). But do it because you want to; not because you worry about breaking tradition or worse still because someone else might ask you about it.

If you do decide to make a resolution or two, at least plan to succeed.

Given our seasonally congested band-width, many of us adopt resolutions without considering the feasibility or for that matter, the desirability of achieving them. I’m convinced this is one of the reasons that New Years’ resolutions frequently fail.

New Years’ resolutions are about personal improvement; there are few things as frustrating as failing to achieve our goals, probably none as frustrating as failure to reach our self-goals. But as we’re well aware: goals don’t simply happen- we have to plan to achieve them!

So if you decide to make New Years’ resolutions, devise a plan to achieve them. With the choice between a well-planned resolution that has a fighting chance to succeed and a poorly or unplanned one with little chance for success- the choice is obvious.

No matter what they say there are 365 days in the year; why wait for years’ end to set new goals?

For 364 days of the year we go merrily on our way; on the 365th day we declare our expectations for the next 364 days. It makes me wonder- whatever did we do with the other 364 days of the year?

The idea of a “new” year meshes smoothly with that of a new beginning, hence the New Years’ resolution. It’s not like we don’t set goals throughout the year but something about this time of year is special. For example a typical resolution is to lose weight. After all the holiday feasting is over it’s probably a good time to go for it. But let’s say for example that in the middle of June you decide to make an ongoing effort to eat smart, exercise well and maintain control over your weight. Just think what a relief it will be come the holidays when you can enjoy that feasting without worrying about how much you have to lose in the New Year.

It all comes down to this- resolutions can be made at any time. Why not make them when the inspiration is genuine and the motivation to succeed is at its peak? If it so happens that December 31st is the time and place, so be it! If it is not, there are plenty of other dates that will work just as well. When the time is right- go for it!

I hope these ideas inspire some consideration. Maybe you will make a resolution or two to implement them. I hope that the time ahead is peaceful and enjoyable for you and that when December 31st rolls around you will look back with fond memories of 2008.

As for me, I’ll be busy trying to lose 25 pounds; at least that’s what I told everyone!

Whether you hail from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts or not, you are probably familiar with our stance on same-sex marriage. You may not however, have heard of the vote in the legislature to put this matter back on the public ballot. This past summer one of our state representatives created a few headlines when he reversed his position in the eleventh hour and voted against bringing this topic back to the court of public opinion.

His original vote was genuine; his change of heart was attributed to his evolving clarity. After taking a long hard look at himself, the people around him and the potential impact of the vote, he concluded he had no choice but to vote against returning the matter to the ballot. What followed was an abundance of support and a fair amount of derision. What remains certain is this- this leader did not let the perceived consequences of his decision sway his conviction.

The world in which we live and conduct business is a very busy, ever-changing place. Survival depends upon our ability to remain on our feet, sense the pulse of the marketplace and respond accordingly; in short we must change with the tide or be swept away by it. It’s common sense, right?

Of course it is but… can you afford to do so at the expense of your inherent values and core beliefs? For me the answer is a resounding NO! Sure, it’s easiest to take the path of least resistance; you know, ‘go with the flow’. If you happen to be aligned with the masses then by all means follow them. But what happens when the prevailing currents simply don’t feel right for you? For me, there are three obvious choices- acquiesce, compromise or innovate and inspire.

Acquiesce-

With this option you choose to let the masses be your guide even though what they are promoting feels wrong. Fundamentally, we all want to be accepted; we all want to fit in. Acquiescence supports those needs but at the same time it undermines our self-confidence and ignores our values and beliefs.

To acquiesce puts your’ personal credibility at stake; maybe nobody else will know, but you will. Is it really worth it to diminish “you” in this way? Over the long-term this strategy may move you to a place of complacency and inadequacy. Can you think of any legitimate long-term benefits to this strategy?

“If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.” -
Margaret Thatcher-

Compromise-

There are times when settling for compromise is a wise course of action. For example when agreeing with an ego-inflated superior despite your’ beliefs to the contrary. It’s sort of like choosing your battles carefully.

You could elect to express your contrary views but you recognize that the potential consequences far outweigh the benefits. Unlike acquiescence though, you do this with full recognition of your position and you recognize it for what it is- a short term solution designed to hold you over until a more suitable opportunity arises.

Compromise is designed to retain a sense of flow and continuity. While you are not actively rocking the boat you remain true to your convictions and course.

“The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.”
-Rollo May-

“You can’t inspire people if you are going to be uninspiring.”
-Robert Reich-

Innovate and Inspire-

This option takes courage but it is also the option with the greatest return; it happens to be the path our State Representative chose. I call this the innovate and inspire option because you choose to separate yourself from the masses. You draw your’ inspiration from your’ core beliefs and inherent values as well as your’ intellect and experience. In short, you create the solution rather than borrow it from someone else.

The innovate and inspire course can be daunting. Your’ actions may be perceived as unpopular, maybe even controversial. But you’re not looking to win a popularity contest; you’re doing what you believe is the right thing and you know that this is what inspires you. And don’t forget, your’ courage and innovation have the power to inspire others as well. Moreover, this option preserves and bolsters your’ integrity and self-confidence. This option produces sustainable benefits, both short and long-term.

The next time you are faced with a challenging situation look both ways before you step in. Hear what the experts have to say but don’t forget to look inside as well. The choice is yours’. Choose wisely!

IT PAYS TO PLAN AHEAD; BUT EITHER WAY BE PREPARED TO RESPOND.

My favorite lunch spot (Ease and Do, July 2007) has booths and tables. Booths seem to be the accommodation of choice; particularly for young kids. One such child escorted her Mom and Dad to lunch this day and naturally she asked the hostess if they could sit in a booth. Upon arriving at their booth the young gal scooted in obligingly and urged her Mom to join her. That’s when her Dad said in a tone that can only be described as heart-broken, “but I wanted to sit with Mom!” For a brief moment I was unsure if there was more than one child in that booth but one thing for sure, the conversation didn’t end there. Some terse adult and a few confused child-like comments were uttered.

It’s happened to all of us at some time or another; we assume that things will go along in a certain, predictable way and then without warning the rules are changed. Dad here was caught off guard when his little one chose Mom as her booth partner. Could this ‘crisis’ have been avoided? Could the outcome have been a bit more pleasant? The answer to both is a resounding YES! There are two key considerations- planning and responding:

Plan Ahead

Advance planning addresses four fundamentals:

• The outcome you expect to achieve
• Likely impediments (unexpected outcomes)
• Contingencies to deal with those impediments
• Planned response

It’s not possible to prepare for all contingencies but that doesn’t diminish the value of having a plan. There may have been a very good reason for Dad to want to sit with Mom. I presume he knew that before they arrived at the restaurant. At the same time one can expect a child to have impulsive expectations. Knowing this, Dad most certainly could have foreseen that his plan to sit with Mom may not work out. If they had developed a contingency for this likely impediment they may have been able to avoid the ‘crisis’. Even if the contingency was ineffective, Dad could have rehearsed a more appropriate (e.g., non-disruptive) response.

A Measured Response

Typically we are prepared for the expected outcome; our response is automatic, perhaps even rehearsed. It’s when we are caught unprepared that our response takes on a significantly greater level of importance. A lack of preparedness does not diminish the need for an appropriate response, no matter how surprising (or unsettling) the outcome might be. Dad’s response was apparently not rehearsed; and for that matter it was neither appropriate nor productive. Had he considered this possible outcome, he would have been prepared to respond in a more suitable manner.

Lessons for Business

Business is full of occasions such as these (OK, without the children on hand). On a daily basis we interact with a variety of people; each occasion plays an important role in our business success and growth. Whether interaction is planned or not we can take steps to ensure that it consistently supports the success and growth of our business.

• Understand what it takes to make your business succeed- keep this detail at the core of your interaction; it will serve as your guiding light and a source of focus.
• Always plan ahead! Keep in mind the outcome you expect to achieve, potential, unexpected outcomes, contingencies and likely responses (your own and those of the person(s) you are talking to).
• Acknowledge that preparation puts you into a place of balance; it is easier to thread a needle on dry land rather than in heavy seas.
• Anticipate the unexpected- it is a fact of life; don’t let these events catch you off guard. The planning you have done is invaluable in steadying you during these times and offers you the greatest chance of success in an unpredictable environment.
• At all times remember the value of as well as the potential damage that can result from your response. Anticipate that each response is the opening line in a continuing conversation.

For several of the final years of my Dad’s life we enjoyed a weekly lunch at a local restaurant. At the time, it was an opportunity to get to know each other in a way we never had before. There was no pretense, no agenda, just simply the chance to talk to and learn about each other. I continue the tradition to this day; it is an opportunity for me to relax and to visit with friends I have come to know there. This is among the places I go to replenish myself. Periodic replenishment is a key ingredient in my recipe for a balanced life.

Balanced life? Replenishment? In this rush-rush world, balanced life and replenishment are more important than ever but for many of us they are exceptionally elusive as well. Nobody needs to be reminded of how busy they are or of how that ‘busy-ness’ affects us and those around us.

But hey! Would you fly on an airline that does not regularly service their aircraft? Would you repeatedly do business in a place where employees are cranky, indifferent and unenthusiastic? Without periodic replenishment you and I can easily become as worrisome as that airline or as undesirable as the staff in that fictitious business. And the people around us are sure to notice!

For most, a rich and fulfilling (this is what I call balanced) life revolves around four key elements: self, family, friends and work. Naturally we strive to be successful in managing each of them. These elements are inextricably woven and all of them impact each other in some way. Without question we seek a balanced life- where each of the key elements is acknowledged and provided its’ due. If we direct too little attention towards any one element we quickly feel the effects. Just ask the new parents who are juggling work schedules, diapers and mortgage payments how much attention their ‘self’ is getting.

Of the four elements I’ve always seen ‘self’ as the most important- you know, always look out for “number 1″. Self supports the family, friends and work. If the self gets out of whack it won’t be long before the others are hurting too. The message is simple- in order to build a balanced life we need to nurture ourselves. I call this replenishment.

Replenishment comes in many forms; it may be a place we go, a routine that we follow, or… What matters is that we recognize the value of maintaining our own well-being because life as we know it starts at the interface of ourselves and our world. Keeping ourselves well nourished is essential to maintaining balance in our lives. It’s not about changing the way the world works- it’s about making sure we are better equipped to live in it.

There is no magic formula here; each of us has to chart our own course but here is a suggested way to start:

• Take an inventory of your life needs; what does it take to bring your life into balance, where living is a joy rather than a chore?
• Learn to appreciate the bumps in the road- they are a part of the journey; they provide conditioning we can’t derive from smooth passage
• Take note of how you impact those around you; develop an appreciation for the fact that you have an impact, both positive and negative. There are valuable lessons to be learned here
• Take time out- life is busy, not to mention short; take time to nurture yourself. It will make you a happier person and those around you will be happier because of it.

Enjoy the journey! And don’t forget to replenish often.